Nerdlife

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while, but I never really got around to it until just now. I wanted to share some experiences from my big job hunt.  It was definitely a fun experience: during last November alone I was on over 20 different airplanes.  I had at least preliminary interviews with over a dozen companies, and ended up with a really tough decision between two amazing options.  But more on that later. There are many different types of companies that I ran into in my interview process, and here are just a few experiences from them.  Note that whatever I say about these companies, I have the utmost of respect for them all.  They all treated me very well, and I had a great time interviewing with them (and I’m not just saying that on the off chance that they read this).

Job Fairs / Standing Out

The only place I looked for a job was Carnegie Mellon’s job fair.  It’s a really amazing experience: over 200 companies show up, most in the technology realm.  Thousands of students run around in suits trying to convince companies that they’re special: different than all of the other students running around in suits.  I had the opportunity to help a big company I was interning at a few years ago with manning their booth.  I collected resumes for a few hours, and honestly it was incredibly boring.  Most students slipped me their one page resume, gave me the same spiel about the courses they’re taking and the random programming job they did, ask me what I do, and wandered off.  Very few people stood out.  The ones who left a lasting impression on me had one or more of the following traits:

• A really interesting story to tell about a problem they solved. I mean like get-a-rocket-into-space interesting.  No, not how you figured out how to multiply matrices on CUDA architecture, I want to hear something even a fifth-grader would say “awesome!” in response to
• A unique background. I was more interested in a freshman who had been consulting for 3 years than a senior who had done the same.  Or even just a freshman who had the guts to show up at a job fair after only being in school for a month.  That’s exactly what I did, and I got tons of raised eyebrows and kudos (and an internship).
• Personality! One guy was so incredibly energetic and excited to meet me that I couldn’t forget him.  Note that I really don’t recommend trying this unless you have the charisma to back it up, because faking that is incredibly difficult to get away with.  For a more toned down example: I ran into a company this last job fair that I really wasn’t looking to talk to (we had one of those you-made-eye-contact-now-you-have-to-talk-to-me moments).  We started talking and they admitted that this was their first job fair, as they used to not target recent grads so heavily.  My response was “Job fairs suck, don’t they?” and launched into my stories from working one.  The discussion had nothing to do with getting a job, but the friendly banter ensured they wouldn’t forget me.  My recruiter instantly remembered me by first name when I called her a month later.

Other advice for job fairs:

• Learn to love people. One of my greatest assets at job fairs is that I genuinely love meeting new people.  Each booth I stop by is not only a chance to hear about a potentially interesting product (and get free swag), but also to meet someone and find out what they do.  It’s great practice for real life too: if you make an ass of yourself to a recruiter, odds are you’ll never see them again, whereas doing the same for a coworker or classmate would have longer-lasting implications.
• Talk to as many people as possible. I’d much rather talk to 10 companies I’ve never heard of than wait an hour on line to talk to someone from Google (they require everyone to apply online anyway).  I had literally never heard of the company I ended up accepting an offer from.  Also, you can always decline interviews later on, but this is your best shot to initiate contact with these companies.
• Relax. No one likes talking to someone who’s nervous.  It’s awkward, and shaking a sweaty hand is gross.  I would say for those who are always nervous that they should take a shot or have a beer (just one!) before hitting the job fair, but I’ve never tried this personally and can’t be held liable for the consequences.

Bad Interviewers

I had my fair share of botched interviews, but about halfway into my job hunt I realized that it wasn’t always my fault.  Sure, sometimes you walk into the room and instantly become stupid, and sometimes you’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time, either literally (I slept through an interview once) or figuratively (I once commented that I hate SML, only to immediately hear from my interviewer that “SML is my favorite language”). But other times the interviewers themselves suck, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  I’ve had awkward interviewers who didn’t seem to get how the process was supposed to work: they gave no feedback.  This wouldn’t be a problem for easy questions that everyone should be expected to answer, but some of their questions were the type that people aren’t supposed to know the answer to.  The goal is to start a discussion and evaluate process, eventually working your way to an answer.  I was told in a phone interview to “think about it and email me”, which is usually code for “I want to stop wasting my time with this call”.  I’m not going to eliminate the possibility that I just suck, but everyone I spoke to about the problem agreed that I couldn’t be expected to solve it without prodding.  Some people just don’t know how to run interviews, it’s the luck of the draw.

GPAs

I’ve never cared much about my GPA.  I would rather have an interesting consulting project than focus more on my grades hands down.  My mentality is that if a company values a high GPA over actual experience, I have no desire to work for them.  It turned out this was the right call, since only two companies that I was interested in asked for my GPA.  One still asked me for an interview, and the other only asked on their web form they made everyone fill out.  The other 20+ companies I handed resumes to didn’t even mention grades.

Warning: I am not advocating ignoring your classes.  Everyone has an average grade they would get if they put in their “I feel obligated to do at least this much” level of effort.  I was comfortable with what mine was, so I didn’t feel the need to do more.  Yours may not be in the same place: I recommend evaluating this carefully before making a decision on level of effort in classes.  Also, Carnegie Mellon has a reputation behind it that I’ve been told companies value more than GPAs.  If you go to a different school, your mileage may vary.

Wine-and-Dine Companies

These companies pull out all the stops for you, either to try and buy your love or just to give the impression that they’re doing really well.  One company flew me out twice, and both times sent a town car for me and put me in a $500/night hotel.  Then they took me out to really nice restaurants on interview day, including some really good (and I’m sure expensive) sake.  Granted, I think this particular company operated like this on a day-to-day basis, and all companies do it to an extent (one rented out an upscale lounge and had an invite-only event with an open bar for potential candidates), but my point is don’t let it affect you.  I let myself get sucked into the magic, and it clouded my ability to properly evaluate the company. It also made me more nervous during interviews.  Some companies provide lots of perks, some spend tons of money on little things, and some don’t.  While it’s important to evaluate these things when considering a company, be sure it’s weighted rationally.

Offer Negotiation

No, I’m not going to talk about salary negotiations, you’re on your own for that.  One thing that was important to me when deciding on an offer was my non-compete.  I’ve put a lot of time into building my relationships with my clients, and I don’t want to have to destroy that for a full-time job.  I also get bored easily, and like being able to work on projects without having to worry about whether or not I can open source them.  Also, if I get bored enough I could always tend bar on weekends, and I want to feel free to do that (surprisingly enough most of the non-competes I saw from outside of California barred me from doing that).  Having a paralegal for a mother means that I tend to assume the worst when it comes to legal stuff: I hear too many horror stories to think otherwise.  That’s why when I saw a non-compete that prevented me from doing any of the above items, I knew I couldn’t accept the offer as-is.  I was pretty upset, since that company was one of my top choices.

About a day after I saw the non-compete and knew it was a deal killer, I got a call from the CEO of the company (a really kind gesture that I didn’t expect) asking if I had any questions, so I mentioned this to him.  He told me that of course the company wasn’t looking to stop me from doing reasonable things, only not run to their competitors.  I mentioned that I had a family member who was in law, and he said that I was more than welcome to have her change it.  A little legal back-and-forth later and we had a new non-compete that everyone was happy with.

The moral of the story?  Negotiate!  If a company makes you an offer and you’re not happy with a part of it, whether it be paperwork, benefits, or plain old salary, say something.  Keep in mind that the company has decided they want you: at this point you’re both on the same level in the negotiation, since they need you as much as you need them (give or take).  The worst that could happen is they say “no”, in which case you’re no worse off than you were before.

My Story / Final Advice

So having learned all of this, I finally reached the end of my job hunt.  I had narrowed things down to two offers, and for the life of me I couldn’t decide between them. The salaries were comparable, both had great projects to work on, and both teams were awesome.  So I made a list. And I stayed up at night thinking. And I asked everyone I saw “Silicon Valley or Boston”, with mixes responses. In the end, it basically came down to two things. First, I had been in Silicon Valley for the last two summers: I knew it very well, and I considered that a bad thing. I wanted to try something different. I knew that I could always go to the valley and I would be comfortable there, but I worried that once I went there I would be too comfortable and settled to leave and regret it. At least if I went to Boston I would know enough about both places to decide which one I’d prefer. Second, Boston was closer to home. The though of being able to be home for Rosh Hashanah, something I haven’t done in 3 years, was comforting. There’s a lot to be said for being 4 hours away from family instead of 24.

So there you have it: in the end my decision came down to location, having nothing to do with the actual companies (with a touch of irony in that being in the valley drove me away from it, even though I loved, and still love, the area). It’s with that that I am thrilled to announce I will be joining TripAdvisor’s New Initiatives Team in May. My other option was Mozilla’s Webdev team, which I also would have been thrilled to join (having interned there, I can safely say that it is a wonderful place to work with an amazing group of people).

What final advice do I give? Try something new. I’ve never lived in Boston before, and while it’s scary to think of going to a new place when I could have had something I already know, I take comfort in knowing that I’m putting myself out there and trying different things. Challenge yourself to break out of whatever mold you’re in: challenge your assumptions and decisions every step of the way.

Also, if you’re looking for a job I’d highly recommend checking out TripAdvisor or Mozilla, they both have great people, and I feel privileged that they both felt highly enough of me to make me offers.

advice, cmu, Mozilla, personal, silicon valley, tripadvisor

So I was asked recently “What’s the one thing you absolutely cannot stand in another person?” I knew the answer immediately, because I encounter it so much. Here’s my response:

“The one thing that I can’t stand in another person is lack of basic considerations. Not just courtesy and chivalry, which I value but don’t bug me when other people ignore them, but everyday stuff. When I’m deciding on something, I usually at least mildly consider the impact it will have on other people. Very rarely will I make decisions in a bubble, since I know that anything I do will impact at least one other person. When people just do things without considering the impact on others it really bugs me. It’s usually little things too…running 20 minutes late and not calling to tell someone…leaving garbage everywhere when you know it drives your roommate nuts, etc. I tend to be a pretty laid back guy (at least I try to be), but when people don’t at least try to accommodate other people, especially when they’ve been asked to, it really bugs me.”

This is a really undesirable quality in my eyes…in business, relationships, and life in general, and it’s a shame that I see it so often. It takes very little effort to let someone know if you change your plans and it affects them. A simple text message will suffice. I really don’t understand what is running through people’s minds when they change plans. Example: several times I have people ask me if I want to meet, and we solidify plans for a certain time. I now religiously check in with them to confirm that we are still going. Often I receive a response “I’ll keep you updated”. Then, 20 minutes before, I am required to check in again, and receive a response to the effect of “oh, I changed my mind”. That’s wonderful, when were you planning on letting me know?

I’m not saying people should not change their minds, they are more than entitled to do so. On occasion I will be running late to a meeting or have to rearrange my schedule to fit things in. However, even if I’m running 10 minutes late, I will call and let people know. I do this for the same reason that I use my turn signal when changing lanes: the effort I must put into it is nothing compared to the benefit everyone else receives from knowing what I’m doing. It’s almost as if people are implying “my time is so incredibly valuable compared to yours that I don’t need to bother”. That is ridiculously rude in both life and the business world.

I’ve been fortunate enough to see this pretty rarely in the business world (and unfortunate in that it is a daily occurrence in my personal life), but I know plenty of less fortunate people. How frequent is this in your life, and how much does it bother you in both business and personal realms (i.e. am I overreacting?)?

advice, consideration

I seem to have inadvertently stumbled upon a very useful tool that I believe helps put things in perspective. I find that it helps me get through tough times and helps make the good times even better:

Every couple of weeks I find myself doing absolutely nothing, and all of a sudden I get a mental snapshot of my life several years back (5 seems to be the magic number for me). I see my goals, personality, and overall status in life. I think and, trying to decide what to do with this snapshot, compare it to my current life. This has never, in the many times it has happened, led to disappointment. Personally, I have been very fortunate in regards to my constant progression towards my goals, as I believe many people are. The problem is that we all tend to get caught up in the day’s/week’s/month’s downers. Taking a moment to reflect will usually result in a firmer grasp on the bigger picture, allowing you to be happier with your current situation, even if it is already pretty good.

advice, perspective

I’ve heard a lot of good advice on relationships. I’ve also heard a lot of bad advice. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m young and as such, probably not the best giver of relationship advice. But I do, however, have one piece of advice that I feel obliged to give to a specific group of people. Ironically, this advice can only rarely be received…I find that it must normally be deduced by everyone for the message to be effective. Unfortunate, but true of most good advice.

So, to all of the “nice guys” reading advice on”picking up chicks”, or even generic “dating advice”. Whether you’re in high school, college, or beyond, if you constantly tell people that your problem is that you’re the stereotypical “nice guy” and blame that for your poor luck, please, I implore you, take one piece of advice:

Ignore all the advice you’ve been given

I know this is counterintuitive and creates all kinds of logistical paradoxes, but I truly believe in this. And here’s why:

Everybody’s different, plain and simple. From the type of pheromones you give off to the type of people you are attracted to to every single aspect of you personality, no two people are alike. Thus all the advice you are given does not necessarily apply to you. But it might. Why, then, should you ignore it? That brings me to my second point:

Advice goes against intuition. There are two types of advice: internal and external. Internal advice is that gut feeling, things your mind is telling you, things that you do without a good explanation (”intuition”). External advice is everything else. People let external advice overwrite internal advice quite frequently, but we are much more in tune with other people’s body language than we think (yes, even the anti-social nerds). We just need to learn to listen to ourselves. If things feel right, you’ll know it. External advice only gets in the way of this. If external advice goes with your intuition, wonderful, but if it doesn’t then we question our decisions. If this is the case and our intuition is normally right, then all external advice does is slim down the probability that we follow our intuition.

And the main reason relationship advice is inherently flawed:

Advice implies change. Is change a good thing? The answer, as with most things regarding relationships, is “it depends”. Change is good if you want to change. Change is bad when you are simply using change as a means to an end. An example, if you will (note that this is a very quick overview of two long and involved stories, so please forgive the brevity):

A while back I decided that I wasn’t happy with who I was. I was afraid to try new things, afraid to take chances. So I changed. I made a note and a conscious effort to be more spontaneous and take more chances. It went well, I had some good times, and I think I am a more balanced person because of it.

Less than a year before I decided to make this change, I was fed up with my lack of success with women. So I started looking at what was the problem, and decided that I was too conservative. So, I decided to take more chances. While this did not end poorly per se, it did not end well. I was unhappy with who I was, because I often had a face on.

In both instances my action was the same: take more chances. My goal, however, was different. My point is that the desire for change should not be for the sake of some other goal. The problem with doing so is that one becomes lost in the pursuit of the change and loses sight of the underlying goal. Only change for changes sake can avoid this common pitfall.

Also, change for the sake of a goal implies that you do not necessarily want the change itself. Originally I did not want to be more spontaneous, I was trying to have more success with dating. This meant that when I realized what I was doing and how I was acting, I felt disjoint. I was unhappy with the discrepancy between myself and my actions. I’d imagine that this discrepancy was also apparent, if only at a subconscious level, to people around me, and as such I imagine my actions gave off an air of “fake”.

So if I already said that this advice (or anti-advice) has to be discovered on one’s own, I do hope that it will make people more open to this idea, and perhaps in the long run help people to stop relying on the advice of others and more on their own intuition.

advice, girlfriends, relationships

Today’s post is brought to you by the letter F, for failing. No, not because I am a failure or have failed at anything significant lately, but I did notice a pattern in failure worth sharing.

Everyone has failed and will fail at countless things in their life, no matter who they are (an obvious but often overlooked point). We will all do things we regret, be turned down for jobs, and have failed relationships (with the possible exception of one of my friends, who is a special case in and of herself…more on that in a future post). The entrepreneurial types will have failed startups, rejected business plans, and unattainable capital needs. You’d think with all this practice at failing, people would learn how to do it better. Still, many people are very bad failures, making an already sub-optimal situation even worse.

I’m openly guilty of it myself. Take my poker playing: when I’m playing well, I’m playing really well. Beyond just getting good cards, if I’m up I have the patience and poker face I would love to have all the time. But when I’m down, when I’m failing, I overcompensate. I act on emotions, call stupid hands, etc. I not only fail, I fail miserably.

On the other hand, in terms of relationships I fail quite well. I can read people well enough to see when things are going downhill. I can decide the best course of action and enact it as well as someone in such a situation could hope to. When I fail at relationships, I fail gracefully.

Which brings me to my point. Below I have laid out 5 tips for failing gracefully that I would recommend anyone, myself included, learn to practice:

1. Take a step back - If you see things going downhill, do not simply push in the other direction. Analyze what is going on and figure out a solution rather than a quick fix. For example, if you’re losing customers, don’t just spend more on marketing, see where and why the customers are going. Maybe a competitor just released a new feature that kicks your ass. Maybe your servers are overloaded and giving slow responses. There are a million causes for anything and it’s much easier and more effective to stop a cause then implement a fix. This is the difference between a solution and a fix, solutions stop causes, fixes add a counter-cause.
2. Get Input - At any given point in time regarding any given topic, there are most likely several million people who know more than you about it. Even with something you specialize in, there’s still probably a few hundred, if not thousand, who are better than you at it. And even if you are the best (and remember, only one person is the best, meaning it’s probably not you), someone will still know something you don’t about that subject. So swallow your pride and ask for some help. You’d be amazed at how helpful people are when you approach them as a student approaches a teacher. Pride only gets in the way of common sense.
3. Know When to Call it Quits - also know as “not throwing good money after bad”. If you see all the signs, if you know that things are not going to get better, why spend an obscene amount of time fighting a losing battle. If you are fighting every day with your significant other and he/she refuses to talk things out, it’s time to move on. If you’ve burned through $2 million in venture capitol and nobody even knows your product’s name, nonetheless what it does, you’re out of luck. That’s not to say you shouldn’t give it your all: by all means do more than that. You should try to talk things out, you should try to get more funding, but learn the point at which the chances of success are so astronomically thin that you may as well throw your last dollars into the lotto, and bail out before that point.
4. Learn Something - I know you’ve heard it dozens of time, but it bears repeating: if you do fail, learn something. Look back, determine where your main points of failure were, and vow never to repeat them. That way, given enough failures, your chance of success increase significantly.
5. Make Sure You Gave It Your All - If you’re not giving 100%, what’s the point in even trying? You want to be able to look back and say that you poured your heart and soul into what you did, that there was not a single thing you could have done to allow you to succeed, because if you didn’t, then all you’d be left with is regret.

Here are several real-life examples I’ve seen of what people do that make them miserable failures rather than graceful failures:

• Throwing Good Money After Bad - Always remember, you have to continue to eat (and feed a family, if applicable). Don’t risk your or your family’s well being for the sake of a dream (i.e. investing your entire retirement fund into a business that is falling apart).
• Hiding the Truth - If you know things are falling apart, don’t hide it from others. They will eventually figure it out and resent you for hiding it, whereas they would have respected you more had you had the courage to be upfront about it (i.e. a relationship where one person is not happy and doesn’t tell the other person)
• Losing Hope - My Mom always says “Hope for the best, and expect the worst”. This is much better than George Will’s stance that “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” The problem with this view is that you will never take chances. Being a pessimist is fine for the here and now, but it makes for a very bleak view of the future. Instead, you should see the glimmer of hope, the chance of success, but recognize how slim it is, and appreciate Murphy’s law and all the potential for failure that goes with it (no real i.e. for this one, I just see too much hopeless pessimism in the world).

And there is one more thing worth mentioning: When Things Look Bad, Stop For a Moment and Reflect. Look back on how far you’ve come, and compare it to how far you have left to go. It may just help put things in perspective.

advice, business, failing, startups